As we were driving to school today, a girl walked in front of our car as she crossed the crosswalk, and I just so happened to notice that she was not wearing pants. Now, if you asked this girl if she put on pants this morning, she would probably say yes. And she would be wrong. Newsflash to the world: stretchy, nearly-transparent tights are not pants. If I can easily see the color of your skin through your "pants", they are not pants.
Luckily for us, the kind people at Buzzfeed have made a handy-dandy chart which can help you determine, once and for all, if you are or are not wearing pants. (Click on the image to enlarge it.)
So check this chart carefully before leaving the house, and be sure to dress accordingly.
Thanks for your cooperation.